Intro:  How many people watch soap operas? Did you know that the percentage of sexual references to partners who are single or who are married but not to each other is 94% according to Psychology Today.

 A national survey by the Barna Research Group reported that Baptists are more likely than any other Christian denomination to be divorced, and they have a higher rate of divorce rate than atheists and agnostics. According to Barna, 29% of all Baptist adults have been divorced. it is becoming easier for church members/Christians to look to divorce as a solution to their marital problems.

QUESTION: How many divorced Christians do you know?

 I read somewhere that almost 90% of adults fall in love and get married. Finding a spouse seems not be a problem. But, with no-fault divorce staying married is. We live in a sad time. Divorce is out of control and the rates for divorce don't seem to be slowing down.

 Families are shattered, children are devastated. Marriage has fallen out of favor. The number of single parents is rising, along with absentee fathers and unwanted children. Abortion and abuse are rampant. Most of us don't even get upset when we hear about them. We have been desensitized.

QUESTION: Do most of the married couples you know: both or 1 work outside the home?
                      What problems in the home can develop in a two income household?

 Even when there are two parents in the home the pressure for two incomes to enjoy life is almost a necessity. Long work hours, 6 days a week are normal. Parents return home from work exhausted and irritable...sound familiar?

 We have become slaves to the advertising all around us, on TV, in the movies, in the paper and magazines, billboards. Everywhere we look we are seeing the enticement to buy something newer, updated, sleeker, with all the bells and whistles. Men, you know what I am talking about.

QUESTION: In the past year, what items/things have you upgraded?

EXP: And this hunger for a newer, sleeker, updated model has crept over to other areas of out life. We see it in why people leave a particular church to go to another down the street that is doing something new and flashy. And we have musical chairs in our churches because people can no longer appreciate what they think is outdated, not the cutting edge or trendy.

  But perhaps an even more insipid problem is in the area of marriage. Many who have been married for a number of years wake up one morning and look at their spouse and see last years model. For many, sex has become routine, boring and often very infrequent.

 We have been trained to want whatever is the newest thing in the market, so we throw out the old in search for that which will make us happy. The problem is, when this happens, true happiness is never found, only guilt, sadness and regret.

Background: And that is Solomons point in Prov. 5:1-14.

Action: Read Prov. 5:1-6

QUESTION: What is Solomon talkin gabout here in the text?

 Solomon here in these verses explains the disappointment and despair that accompanies violating God's intended purpose for marriage and sex within marriage.

 In verses 1-6 we see the strange woman (adulteress) of proverbs. The word strange means 'not related to' So the strange woman is the one the man in this text is not married to. To have sex with her is sinful, according to the Word of God.

 Make no mistake, on the outset, this union, this affair, this sexual liaison may be exciting and sweet, because as the text tells us the kisses and word that come from her lips drip like honey, they are sweet and tasty. But in the end, the  sweetness turns to bitterness and the honey to poison (wormwood) The good times and the perceived and anticipated perfection begin to fade and tarnish..

 One of the themes of the book of Proverbs is 'looking ahead to see where your actions will take you'.

QUESTION: What are some practical examples of this?

 A wise person checks his ticket stub before getting on the train to be certain of his eventual destination.
    (he may get on the wrong train going to a different location)
 A wise person will consider the cost before beginning an extensive building project.
  (He may run out of money and cannot complete the job)
 A wise man will make certain the ropes and clasps are secured before bungee jumping.
  (He may never bungee jump again)

QUESTION: Why don't people look ahead to see where their actions and choices may take them?

 But some think nothing bad will happen, so they don't look ahead, they are safe, bad things happen to others. They are impatient, they just don't care.

Read: vs 7-14

 In verses 7-14 we see that the temptation always involves promises of happiness, or no one tempted would follow through. And for a time it seems like their promises have been fulfilled, their problems are solved, they got the newer, sleeker model they wanted in this other person. However, disobedience to the Law of God always brings consequences and everyone will pay for their brief moments of pleasure.

 Verses 9-14 is the desperate cry of one such person who has looked over the fence and believes the grass is greener so he hops over, only to find his vigor or strength gone, his hard owned possessions gone, he wastes away physically, he cries out in ruin....all for a brief time of pleasure. Everything is gone, wife, children, home, furnishings, car, boat perhaps, even your strength....gone. (Divorce settlement)

 But, Solomon doesn't leave us with the negative. He tells us how to protect our marriages. How to have enjoyable, exciting and vibrant marriages. What do we need to do?

QUESTION: What is a cistern?

 Cistern/Well: is a metaphor for the wife. Solomon is telling us that just as a cistern and well are used to provide much needed water to satisfy our thirst, so our wife is to be that which brings satisfaction to her husband.

 Solomon compares married love to drinking pure water from a fresh well or cistern a holding place for fresh water.

 Notice the word...your. This is the wall God has placed around marriage not to make it restrictive and dull but to give you the freedom to drink to your hearts desire within that which is yours and yours alone and to protect that right from all others who might come knocking at your door for a cold drink of water..

 God ordained and even commanded sex in marriage and since He gave us all things to enjoy...sex within marriage is included., But it must be on His terms or it will not be what you hope.

 Solomon is saying here  in verse 15, understand that God has given you all the excitement and freedom of a sexual relationship and that is to be found in your own wife, for she alone is true satisfaction.

Trans: If you want a lasting and exciting marriage, don't compromise your love...
II. Because your spouses relationship must be protected (Prov. 5:16-17)
Read: Prov. 5:16-17

QUESTION: What is Solomon saying here?

 Solomon is saying that when we neglect our spouse, they will hit the streets to find that which they are not getting at home. True? You better believe it.

QUESTION: What are some ways you can neglect your spouse?

 The streams of water (your wife) go into the streets is speaking of sexual contact with others.  Ever leave a hose running in the garden and come back a few hours later to find it running in the street? It is not a benefit to you in the street and it has picked up what ever was in its path; dirt, oil, sewage....

 Remember, we are to drink pure, fresh water from our own well or cistern. If it flows into the street, it gets filthy and becomes connected with the sewer. Sex within marriage is drinking deeply  from a fresh well. Sex outside marriage, Solomon says, is like drinking deeply from the sewer and that will destroy you.

 To keep your marriage pure, fresh, exciting and secure, don't neglect your wife/spouse or they will go into the streets and they and your relationship will be defiled.

Trans: If you want a lasting and exciting marriage, don't compromise your love...
III. Because your delight must be in your spouse (Prov. 5:18-20)
Read: Prov. 5:18-20

QUESTION: What is Solomon saying here?

 Pretty graphic isn't it? Solomon is saying, keep the original model because they don't make em like they used to and this one was made perfectly for you by God. A couple of things to point out here.

QUESTION: According to this text, what is one way to receive a blessing from God?

 1. We are blessed when we stay true to the wife of our youth.  This says much about denying the power of advertising and staying with what God has given to us...it speaks of loyalty and faithfulness. God honors that loyalty and faithfulness with His blessing on the relationship.

 2. Solomon uses imagery from the animal world here. The hind/deer/doe illustrate the gracefulness of a loving wife. Did you know that women were often named after such pretty and graceful animals in Scripture (Tabitha and Dorcas are both derived from the words for gazelle)

 3. Just as we are captivated with the beauty and gracefulness of the deer/doe and gazelle, so ought we to be captivated with our wife.  The text uses the word 'exhilarated' always with her love. Exhilarated is a very powerful word in the Hebrew. It means intoxicated, captivated, walking with a stagger. It means her love for you and especially your love for her ought to knock you off your feet as if drunk.

 4. Let her breasts satisfy you at all times. The breast is associated with sustenance in Scripture. We are to have our sexual needs met by our wifes body and hers alone. And just as there is beauty in the hind and doe there is beauty in marital sex.

 5. Solomon adds, why be this way with a stranger, someone you were not meant to be with? It won't last, like it can with your wife.

 To keep your marriage pure, fresh, exciting and secure, find your delight in your spouse and be exhilarated by your love for her.

Trans: If you want a lasting and exciting marriage, don't compromise your love...
IV. Because our relationships are always seen by God (Prov. 5:21-23)
Read: Prov. 5:21-23

 Is there anything not clear about this text?

 1. No matter how careful you try to hide your secret relationship, it is in clear view of God. You can not conceal anything from God. He sees all your secret glances, he hears all your 'harmless' flirtation. He knows the secret desires of your heart when it is thinking about trying out that newer model.

 2. It is impossible to sin without being bound by sin. Sin promises freedom but it only brings slavery.

Read: Prov. 5:22 in NIV

 The cord of sin gets stronger the more we sin, yet sin tells us we can quit anytime, we can break off the relationship with this other person when ever we want. As the invisible chains of habit are formed, and forged, we will soon discover that we don't have the strength to break them.
 

Dr. Walter Kaiser said  'The cord of sexual sin will wrap around us until we are stupid and do even  more dumb things.'

 If the man is not captivated by his wife but becomes captivated with a stranger in sinful acts, then his own sin will captivate him and he will be led to ruin....Christian or not!

Conclusion

 Walter Kaiser has said 'Dead marriages are not biblical and do not honor God. Couples must fiercely guard and daily renew their marriages so that there is joy, satisfaction, attentiveness, exclusiveness, beauty, power and the sense of the presence of God.'

How do you make a lasting and exciting marriage, don't compromise your love...
 Because our spouse is our source of enjoyment (Prov. 5:15)
 Because our spouses relationship must be protected (Prov. 5:16-17)
 Because our delight must be in our spouse (Prov. 5:18-20)
 Because our relationships are always seen by God (Prov. 5:21-23)

QUESTION: What is the bottom line here, what one quality is Solomon speaking of?

Bottom Line: Discipline in your marriage to the will and commands of God
are of the most importance

Information taken in part from the following sources
 Be Skillful: Warren Wiersbe
 Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Bible: Matthew Henry
 ACE Conference: Walter Kaiser
 Expositor's Bible Commentary: Frank E. Gaebelein
 Bible Knowledge Commentary: Dallas Seminary
 10,000 Sermon Illustrations: Biblical Studies Press