VI. The Husbands role in the marriage: He must lead spiritually

 One of the primary reasons for the break-up of so many marriages today is the failure of men and women to understand and apply the specific roles and responsibilities God has given to the husband and the wife. And the bulk of that responsibility rests squarely on the shoulders of the man!

 When a man is out if the will of God, he is a menace to himself and everyone else.
  -Jonah, the Old Testament prophet, just about brought a whole ship down because of his    disobedience.

 Many husbands do the same to their marriages. Their marriages are in trouble because they are unwilling to obey God's commandments to them. Let's look at the first of two specific commands to a husband.... Men must lead spiritually.

     Too many men in Christian marriages are not the spiritual leaders they should be. At best, many are passive. At worst, they are actually hindering the spiritual growth of the family.

    A. Looking after your wife's spiritual well-being

 1. The husband's first priority must be to make sure that his wife is properly aligned with God! He should recognize that her
     personal happiness as a woman, wife and mother all hinge upon her relationship with the Lord.

 2. You can't say, "that's her problem!" Remember , you are now one.. And the husband needs to be the spiritual leader in
     the home.

    B. Failure to lead spiritually

Read: 1 Peter 3:17

 1. The phrase "dwell with" literally means "to dwell down with; to be aligned to." In other  words, you are allowing God to work in your lives. You are "settling down," and not looking  for any excuse to "get out of the house." it comes as no surprise that one of the major causes  of unfaithfulness on the part of the wife is the continued absence of the husband.

Question: According to this text, what happens when a man fails to lead his family spiritually?

 2. Husbands, notice that a failure to "dwell" with your wife will result in your prayers being       hindered. This happens because "your life is out of order."

    C.  Most Christian men are Spiritually anorexic.
READ: Matt. 4:4
READ: Deut. 32:46-47

      Satans primary goal is to keep men from the Word of God. And he has been very successful.

Question: How often do you think the average Christian man reads his Bible each week?

 -George Gallop polled Christian men across the country how often in a week they interacted with the Lord by reading the Bible. 45% said once a week or less.

 -The majority of these men are committed Christians who attend church more than once a week.
 -These men would be considered pillars of the church yet they are spiritually anorexic. They aren't growing in their Christina life and it is no wonder. They are not reading and studying God's Word.

 -Nor are they praying. Men spend statistically even less time in prayer each week.
  -To be honest, men, we need prayer more than our wives because it is we who usually fall and we are supposed to be the spiritual leaders of our homes. We ought to be praying for ourselves as well  and for our wife and children. It's imperative if we aregoing to be  successful as husbands and fathers in our home.

    D. What can be done? Submit

Read: James 4:1

 -Conflicts in marriage arise because we want our rights, we want things our way, we want to    lead the family, and we want our opinion to dominate, so we push our way to the top.

 -But one who is Spirit-filled doesn't fight for the top; he fights for the bottom. Throughout    Scripture we are called to submit (1 Cor. 16:16; 1 Pet. 2:13; 5:5; Heb. 13:17).

 1. Mutual Submission

     a. DEF: The word submit is from the Greek word hupotasso (hupo, "under"; tasso, "to line up," "to get in order," "to arrange"), which, in a military sense, means "to rank beneath or under."

  -As Christians, we are to rank ourselves under one another, not over one another. The whole mentality of the Christian life as we relate to each other is one of humility and submissiveness.

         b. Jesus' Example

Read: Philippians 2:4–8

        c. The principle
  -In our relationships we are to be submissive. That is a general principle for all believersto follow.

  -In terms of structure and function, there is to be authority and submission; but in terms of interpersonal relationships, there is to be mutual submission.

     d. Biblical instruction
  -The principle of authority and submission is in the church, in the government, and in the     home; but that doesn't change the fact that we are to mutually submit to one other. It's mutual submission the apostle Paul is after in Ephesians 5:22–6:9. Paul uses   the family  to illustrate the concept, starting in verse 21. In verse 22, wives are to submit to their husbands; but in verse 25, husbands are to submit to their wives.

Read: Eph. 5:25

Question: How do husbands submit?

  -There is no  greater act of submission than to die for someone—and that's the way  husbands are to treat their wives. A husband is to submit to his wife, not in the sense of  abdicating his responsibility of leadership, but in the sense of getting under her to bear  her burdens, carry her cares, meet her needs, and sacrifice his own desires to fulfill her needs.

  -Even though there is authority and submission in the marriage relationship, there is also  a beautiful mutuality.

Read: First Corinthians 7:3-4

Question: How do husbands submit?

  -The husband has a submissive part to play in that he is to submit and render to his wife what she needs. However verse 3 continues, "And likewise also, the wife unto the husband."  Verse 4  says, "The wife hath not the power of her own body, but the husband; and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife." That is mutuality.  It does  not negate the leadership responsibility, but it recognizes the mutual submissiveness that  must occur in a marriage and a family at every point. It is the basic principle of family  life.