Essentials Of The Faith / Sunday Morning Sermon Series / Exodus

Exodus 20:12 05/30/04

Message Title: ‘Honor’                                                                                                           Text: Exodus 20:12

Introduction: A police officer pulled a man over for speeding and asked to see his driver’s license Calmly, the driver responded: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI.
Officer: May I see your registration?
Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: Yeah – But, now that you mention it, I think I did see the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes, sir. I put it there after I killed the lady who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who’s car is this?
Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told there’s a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
The trunk was opened; no body.
Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: No kidding? I’ll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
(Mary Lewis)

Explanation: Isn’t it amazing that the driver was able to discredit the police officers integrity and authority with a seemingly preposterous set of lies? It is also amazing that many think the driver was pretty cool, to get over on the cop. But what this story shows is a total lack of respect for authority. We see it everywhere: Our bosses, our teachers, police officers, and especially our parents. We often do what we can to get around or out from under their authority. Few children hold their parents in high regard. Too often parents are more like obstacles to overcome than a place to get advice and guidance on life.

Blowing off your parents when they tell you to do something may make you look cool to your friends when you are a teenager…but how do you think your lack of respect, your intentional disobedience to your parents looks to God? We live in a society that prizes disobedience and rebellion. The US government has spent millions of dollars to discover why but God has always known…honor your father and mother. That’s why he gave us the 5th commandment.

Transition: Open your Bibles to Ex. 20:12 where we shall find that there are two parts to honoring your father and mother.

Read: Ex. 20:12

 

Question: What does it mean to honor your father and mother?

In the Bible it means:
•    To give weight, to respect, to hold as valuable. It means we don’t take them lightly.
•    Honor is something given to specific people. It means to set them above others. Usually because of the position they hold; like teachers, bosses and parents.
•    Honor is practical, it is not just paying lip service. Honor is displayed by action as well as with words.
•    Honor is public in that we don’t just show honor behind closed doors, we display it in front of others.

We have forgotten how to show honor in our families. What does honor look like? Well, young’ins I am glad you asked. I want you to notice that God addresses children here directly. You are important to God…so is your behavior.

What does honoring your mom and dad look like?

1.    A respect of their personhood. It means being polite, nice to them. Why? Your parents were created by God, just like you were and they have great value in God’s eyes, just like you do. We should value what God values.

2.    Obedience to their commands, wishes.  Do what they say, always.  The only exception is when they are  CLEARLY disobeying God’s Word in some way. If you have any  questions about this,  see me. This is not just a commandment of  God, we are told in Col. 3:20 that honoring  your mother and father pleases God.

3.    Submit to their discipline. When your parents discipline or punish you for disobeying them, take it without talking back or acting out.

4.    Listen to their advice. Believe it or not, your parents have been where you have been and have learned from it. They have wisdom because of their life experience and because of their relationship with God and knowledge of His Word. Give them the benefit of the doubt that they know what they are talking about. It will save you a lot of grief.

5.    Pray for your parents. Moms and dads aren’t perfect, parents need the prayer support of their children. And let them know you are praying for them.

6.    Let them know you love them. Don’t assume they know. Tell them. ‘Mom/dad, I just wanted you to know that I love you.’ Tell them often, every day even.

7.    Thank them for what they do. Most children have no idea what parents do for them because they don’t want to take the time to figure it out…at least until they move out for the first time. Laundry, meals, clothes, money for everything you do, education, medical, gifts, I could go on and on. Take the time to thank your mom and dad for what they have done and are doing for you.

I realized that to many of your friends, treating your parents like this isn’t cool, but God, your heavenly Father, will be  pleased.

Question: Is there a time limit placed on this commandment?

No. But the application of it will change as you grow older. How?

1.    Seek to provide as much physical and emotional comfort and stability as possible for your parents in their old age.

2.    Seek to help them maintain as much dignity as possible. Don’t do for them what they can do for themselves. Don’t take from them what is theirs.

3.    Seek to keep in contact with them as often as possible. Visit, call but do more than send a Hallmark card on special occasions.

4.    Seek to be patient with them.  I know older people can tell the same stories over and over again, they are old fashioned and they often don’t listen well. Be patient.

But, you may be thinking, my parents don’t deserve any respect. You don’t know what went on in my home.

You are right, but the truth is because of their position and for the other reasons I already mentioned they deserve to be honored. If for no other reason, your children will see how you treat your parents, and they will learn from that.

ILL: One of Grimm’s fairy tales tells of an old man who lived with his son, the son’s wife, and the young couple’s four-year-old boy. The old man’s eyes blinked, and his hands shook. When he ate, the silverware rattled against the plate, and he often missed his mouth. Then the food would dribble onto the tablecloth. This upset the young mother, because she didn’t want to have to deal with the extra mess and hassle of taking care of the old man. But he had nowhere else to live. So the young parents decided to move him away from the table, into a corner, where he could sit on a stool and eat from a bowl. And so he did, always looking at the table and wanting to be with his family but having to sit alone in the corner. One day his hands trembled more than usual; he dropped his bowl and, and broke it. “If you are a pig,” she said, “then you must eat out of a trough.” So they made the old man a wooden trough and put his meals in it. Not long after, the couple came upon their four-year-old son playing with some scraps of wood. His father asked him what he was doing. The little boy looked up, smiled, and said, “I’m making a trough, to feed you and Mamma out of when I get big.” The next day the old man was back at the table eating with the family, from a plate, and no one ever scolded him or mistreated him again. (James Emery White, You Can Experience an Authentic Life, p. 59)

I realize that having to parent your parents in their old age is a long way off for many of you young people here today…but the day is
coming.

Transition: There is another side to this commandment. While it is not necessary for a parent to be honorable for the child to show honor, it will be easier for all if parents are honorable in how they raise their children.

 

Eph. 6:1-4 ‘Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”,which is the first commandment with a promise, “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.’

‘Do not exasperate your children.’ Don’t give them reasons not to honor you is what this is saying. How do we do that? How do we become honorable parents?

1.    Nurture your own relationship with the Lord.  Regular quiet times and worship attendance is a good place to start.
 
2.    Be careful not to resent the demands having children can place on you. Some feel having children was an unfortunate accident and is a constant burden to their lifestyle. Look, I know you need breaks, that’s what date nights are for, but never forget that children, wanted or not, perfect or not, are a gift from God. And God’s gifts are always perfect.

3.    Discipline your children. Have rules and when your children break them, follow through on the consequences.

4.    Listen to your children. I know they can go one and on sometimes, but take the time to listen. It will show you care.

5.    Treat their friends as you would any other guests in your home.

6.    Teach your children right from wrong, not just with your lips but with your life.

7.    Show an interest in your children’s activities. Sports, school, friends, hobbies, dreams.

8.    Admit to them when you are wrong.

9.    Be fair, give them the benefit of the doubt. In other words, trust your children. When they have broken your trust, begin right away to rebuild it.

10.    Love your children. Don’t be afraid to show them affection or to tell them you love them. Do it often. Even every day.

Honor, respect must be taught, parents, it doesn’t come naturally to children. They need your example to become what God desires for them.

 

The 5th commandment does not tell us to honor all those in authority over us: police, teachers, public officials, bosses. Why? Because when children honor and respect their parents, they invariably show honor and respect to their teachers, bosses, police officers and others in authority over them. Even to God.

Children, it’s been a long time since you’ve shown honor and respect to your father or mother. Maybe it’s been a long time since you’ve told them you love them or appreciate what they have or are still doing you for.  Decide, before you leave this morning, to keep the 5th commandment. Decide to be intentional about showing honor to your father and mother in some of the ways I have mentioned.

Parents, it is never too late to be honorable. Begin to do some of the things I’ve and you will help your children  keep the 5th commandment.

Look, the home is the first place children learn to honor and respect authority. Live it well in your home and your children will be better able to show respect to those in authority over them later in life. And, it will help them to honor God as their heavenly Father.