Essentials Of The Faith / Sunday Morning Sermon Series / Exodus

Exodus 20:16 07/04/04

Title:  ‘Taming the Tongue’                                                                                                                                                      Text: Exodus 20:16

Introduction: A study was done to determine the differences in vocational perceptions of the truth. They devised a short but succinct test. The first to be tested was an engineer. The researchers asked him: ‘What does two plus two make?’ The engineer simply said, ‘In absolute terms: four.’  Next, they called in an architect. To the same question, he responded, ‘Well, there are several possibilities: two and two make four, but so does three and one -- or two point five and one point five -- they also make four. So, it is all a matter of choosing the right option.’ Finally, they called in an attorney. When he heard the question, he looked around, asked if he could close the door for privacy, and then came over close, leaned toward them and said, ‘Well, tell me, what would you like it to be?’
 
(From a sermon by Greg Yount at sermoncentral.com)
 

We can joke about the integrity of lawyers but the fact is, most Americans lie, regardless of their profession.

ILL: In the book ‘The Day America Told the Truth’ this is what the author found out about our propensity to lie.
•    91% confessed to lying regularly about trivial matters.
•    36% lied about important matters.
•    86% lie regularly to their parents.
•    75% lie regularly to friends.
•    73% lie regularly to siblings.
•    69% lie regularly to spouses.
•    We lie most about our weight, following that are income and age…and then hair color.

Question: Why do people lie?

•    Mental Illness: Some people are compulsive liars.

•    Malice: Some people just want to hurt others.

•    Fear: Some people fear the consequences of telling the truth.

•    Profit: Some people misrepresent the truth to gain something.
        You have a lemon of a car but sell it to someone and don’t tell them of the problems.

•    Image: Some people lie to make themselves look better.

•    Attention: Some people lie just to get attention.
        People who confess to a crime they didn’t commit just to get their 15 mins of fame.

•    Pain/Discomfort: Some people know that speaking the truth will bring discomfort to them or to someone else, so they lie to save their or anothers feelings.
        Dear, do I look fat in this dress?

•    Excuse: Some people don’t want to take responsibility for their actions so they lie, they make excuses that are not true to cover up their failures or guilt.
        A young man was arrested for stealing a car. His said he found the car in  front of a cemetery, and thought the  owner was dead.

Explanation: We lie for many reasons. The scope of the 9th commandment, however is broader than just lying. I believe it is actually concerned with the responsible use of our tongue with regard to our one another.

Read: James 3:9  ‘With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness.’

The tongue can be used to tear someone down or to build someone up. Scripture reminds us over and over again of the need to tame the tongue.

Read: 1 Peter 3:10 ‘For, Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.’

Read: James 1:26 ‘If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.’

Transition: This morning I want to briefly speak about the loose and tame tongue as we examine the scope of the 9th commandment.

Read: Ex. 20:16 ‘You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.’

I.  The Loose Tongue (Tearing Down)

In what ways can we use the tongue to tear someone down?

•    Bearing False Witness: This is the principal focus of this commandment. It means that we are not to say anything untrue that would hurt or bring injustice to others, primarily in the courtroom.

•    Gossip: Gossip tears down even if what you say is true. Gossip may not always be a lie but it is a demonstration of a loose tongue.       
    Gossip is also telling a tale to another about someone else without getting all the facts  first. So many times what is said is not true and had the person investigated
     it first, they would have known it and the one gossiped about would not have been hurt.
        A Pastor was having trouble with a  gossip in the church. Every time she would see his car parked anywhere strange, she began immediately to spread the word that  their Pastor was having an affair. There was  no truth to her rumors, but she kept it up  until the pastor, in an effort to stop her mouth, left his car parked in front of her house, day and night for a week. That cured  he problem.

•    Silence: This is where we hear a lie, an untruth and we remain silent about it. By doing this we participate in perpetuating the lie.

•    Criticism: This is making statements about another person’s actions or speech in an effort to hurt their reputation or to make you look superior or more knowledgeable then they are. Constructive criticism is good when done in a spirit of love and respect. But criticism that intends to punish or hurt is sinful.
       
•    Exaggeration: Stretching the truth’. This is often done to make us look better.
        In Boston a minister noticed a group of boys standing around a small stray  dog. "What are you doing, boys?" "Telling lies," said one of the boys. "The one who tells the bigest lie gets  the dog." "Why, when I was your age,"  the shocked minister said, "I never  ever thought of telling a lie." The boys  looked at one another and finally one  of them shrugged and said, "I guess he wins the dog."
 
(James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited)
 
•    Little White Lies: Are lies we tell that we think are really no big deal.
        Someone calls that you really don’t  want to talk to so you tell your children or spouse to say you are not at  home or sleeping.

The truth is, many do not realize the destructive power of a loose tongue. Because of a few misspoken words, homes have been shattered, reputations ruined and churches split

Transition: Use your tongue build others up, not tear them down. How?

II. The Tame Tongue (Building Up)
•    Spend time with other truthful people.

Read: Ps. 26:4-5 ‘I do not sit with deceitful men, nor do I consort with hypocrites; I abhor the assembly of evildoers and refuse to sit with the wicked.’

•    Think before you speak.
    T: Is it True?
    H: Will it help?
    I: Is it inspiring?
    N: Is it necessary?
    K: Is it kind?

Read: James 1:19 ‘My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry’

•    Mean what you say.

Read: Matt. 5:37 ‘Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.’

•    Realize that a loose tongue is sin.

Read: Prov. 12:22 ‘The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.’

•    Protect the guilty. This doesn’t mean we condone sin, but it does mean we hesitate to place out in the open what we know in secret.

Read: Prov. 11:13 ‘A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.’

•    Speak the truth in love. Without hidden motives, and with respect and affection to one who is also a child of God whom Christ died to forgive.

Read: Eph. 4:15  ‘Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.’

ILL: How very strange that we have ever come to think that Christian maturity is shown by the ability to speak our minds, whereas it is really expressed in controlling our tongues.’ (Redpath)

When we don’t speak the truth in love…we don’t grow up, we don’t mature. It is a simple as that.

Conclusion
Read: Prov. 6:16-19 ‘There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.’

Why use our tongues to build up rather than tear down? Because God hates a loose tongue. Three of the 7 things he hates has to do with controlling the tongue. It’s that important!

Read: Ps. 15 ‘LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman, who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the LORD, who keeps his oath even when it hurts, who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken.’

•    Do you want your worship to be pleasing to God?
•    Do you want to know the pleasure and assurance of God’s presence in your life?
•    Do you want to experience the blessing associated with walking in the will of God?

Learn to tame your tongue.

Before we come to the Lord’s Table, before we unite with Him and with one another by the indwelling power and presence of the Holy Spirit, I want you to bow your heads and close your eyes. I want just a few moments for you to examine your hearts, lives and tongues before God.



•    Are you guilty before the Lord of using your tongue in a manner not pleasing unto Him?
•    Are you critical? Do you say things that are digs, that are intended to either hurt another or to show your extreme displeasure with them?
•    Do you lie or exaggerate  to make yourself look better?
•    Do you participate in gossiping?

If so, then I invite you to come to forward and kneel, symbolically at the foot of the cross, showing your humility before God and his people, in fulfillment of Scripture which says we are to confess our sins to one another. Come forward, confess, repent and seek the face of the Lord who promises forgiveness.

•    Perhaps you have been hurt by the loose tongue of another.
•    Perhaps you have scars that run deep in your heart because of the abusive tongue of someone close to you and you are having a hard time forgiving that person.

I invite you to bring that injury to Jesus and let Him heal your wounds so that before you come to the Table of Forgiveness, you may find forgiveness in your heart for the one who has hurt you with their tongue..

Finally, perhaps you are here and you have been lying to God and to yourself. You have been playing the game of Christianity  and you are may even be a faithful church attender but you know your heart was never given to Christ. Do it now. Speak the truth to the Lord your God. Tell him you are a sinner who needs forgiveness. Replace the lie in your life with the truth of Jesus Christ.