Essentials Of The Faith / Sunday Morning Sermon Series / Genesis

Genesis 16 06/16/02

Intro:   American men received a stinging insult from British psychologist Dr. Joshua Bierer, who described them as a 'bunch of weak-kneed, lily livered sissies.' He had previously thought that women were the problem in the home because  he felt they were domineering. However, he has changed his opinion.

 'Before I thought that the women wanted to rule the country. I changed that opinion. Women are compelled to take over, not fighting to take over...Husbands are not being husbands. All the women are crying out for a strong man and he's just not there.'

 The problem he mentioned is intensified in the Christian family. Men have abdicated their responsibility to be spiritual leaders in their homes. What is the reason American Christian men are also viewed as  'a bunch of weak kneed, lily livered sissies' spiritually speaking?

 In 1983 Karen Carpenter died at the age of 32. Being a rock star and dying in a plane crash, car wreck or drug overdose, seems to go with the territory. But Karen Carpenter didn't die like that. It wasn't drugs or a plane or car crash that took her life.  Karen Carpenter died of Anorexia Nervosa. She was starving herself for years and then one day she died.

 Anorexics are often able to go about their daily duties. They appear to be unconcerned with their undernourished state and often do not feel hungry. So they don't eat.

 I know this is Fathers Day men, but it was not I who placed this message on this day. The Lord did. And I believe for a reason. We need to listen to today's message because our lives, the lives of our families and the life of our church depends upon it. You see, I believe the reason men have abdicated their responsibilities in the Christian home, is because so many of us have become spiritual anorexics. We no longer are hungry to know and live the truth of God's in our lives and to uphold it in our homes. Sure, our jobs and daily routines may be going well, but we and our families are spiritually starving and we aren't hungry enough ourselves to do what it takes to feed them
 
 Men, being a leader, biblically speaking, means that we lead by example. We are  not to be a dictator, or task master. But a loving leader, with the best interests of our wives on our heart. We lead by example.

 Abram should have done that...lead by example. But instead, he followed his wife's leading and the consequences were great. In all honesty, the problems between the Arabs and the Israelis today are all the result of this one failure by Abram to be a spiritual leader in his home.

 Men, don't turn me off. Women, don't think you can tune out either. We all need to do some self evaluation.

Read: Genesis 16:1-3

 Here is the picture.  Abram undoubtedly told Sarai about the promises God had made to him. Sarai, in the 50 years they were married, never got pregnant.  Sarai told Abram to take her servant, Hagar as his wife and have children with her. Abram agreed with Sarai and took Hagar as his wife.

 Before you get all indignant about what Sarai did, understand that her offer of Hagar was a socially accepted custom of their day. Any child Hagar would have would legally have been the child of Sarai. Don't dismiss it too freely. We have a similar practice, it is called surrogate motherhood.

 Sarai's actions showed that she was desperate to have a child. And take note of her attitude. Sarah blames God for her infertility. Which was in fact true.  But God had planned that it would only be temporary. Sarai , however, couldn't wait for God to act. So, she decided to take maters into her own hands. Offering Hagar as a solution to her infertility was an act of desperation on Sarai's part, not an act of faith.
 
 Sarai took the lead here in this family and that is where the trouble began. The text says that Abram agreed to what Sarai his wife had said. Abram agreed. That's it. There is no mention of God, no mention that Abram took Sarah's suggestion to the Lord in prayer.  The great patriarch of Israel, becomes a pathetic pushover for his impatient wife. Without any protest, he passively says yes dear, whatever you say.

 Abram listened to his wife. Sounds a little like Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit doesn't it. In fact, having more than one wife in Scripture was forbidden fruit. It was never God's plan. Abram listened to his wife. 'Listen' in the OT is often a synonym for obedience. Ladies, I can see your discomfort and the daggers about ready to shoot at me from your eyes.

 But listen, Abram's failure was not that he listened to his wife, he and we should do that. I believe, God often speaks through wives because they are often more sensitive to spiritual things than we are. But in passively obeying her instructions without weighing the implications and without seeking God in prayer, Abram sinned...and so do we men when we do the same thing. Instead of being a leader in his family by being an example of faith, Abram because a weak kneed, lily livered sissy who forgot God altogether.
 
 God had made a covenant with Abram and God would fulfill it. All Abram and Sarai had to do was wait patiently. In Ch. 15 Abram listened to God and revealed his faith. Here in Ch. 16 Abram listens to his wife and displays his unbelief.

Read: Genesis 16:4-6

  Abram has sexual relations with Hagar and she gets pregnant. A bit of sex education right here in the Bible. Yes, you can get pregnant the first time. Hagar gets pregnant by Abram and the trouble continues. Hagar, apparently begins to tease Sarai about her infertility.  Probably because she felt she was better than Sarai because she was able to give Abram a son.
That was Hagar's sin.
 
Oh, it gets worse. Abram had done what  Sarai wanted but now Sarai doesn't like the results. And she insists that Abram had failed her. You had sex with her, you got her pregnant, she made fun of me. It's all your fault. And you know what's coming... Besides, you are supposed to be the spiritual leader in this family, you should have told me no!

 Sarai was unwilling to take any of the blame for the trouble that arose from Abrams  union with Hagar. In reality, all three were to blame. Sarai acted out of impatience, Abram became spiritually anorexic and Hagar became prideful. But, Abram was chiefly responsible for he failed to be the leader and example of faith God called him to be in his family.
 
 And it gets worse. Sarai wants to retaliate against Hagar's unkind comments. But Hagar is no longer her servant but Abrams wife and as such she can't get revenge. Caught between two feuding women, Abram once again goes spineless. He sinks further into his spiritual anorexia when he tells Sarai, she is your servant, do what you want to her.
 
 First, he calls Hagar Sarah's servant indicating that he didn't recognize Hagar as his wife, which by custom and law she was.
Second, instead of dealing with the situation himself, instead of defending  Sarai's honor, once again he reverts to his week kneed, lily livered, sissy self. Abram tells her to 'handle it, handle it'. She is your problem.

 One sin leads to another and another until there is no peace, no unity in the home.
     When Christian women try to run ahead of God,
     When Christian men become spiritual anorexics and abdicate their spiritual leadership in the home,
 Chaos abounds.

Read: Genesis 16:7-9

 Hagar can't take the abuse any longer and runs away. While on her way back to Egypt, she is stopped by the Angel of the Lord who questions her. He wanted her to know that running away  from difficult relationships will not change the relationships, nor does it remove responsibility.

 The Angel of the Lord told her to go back to Abram and Sarai and to submit to their authority. It was her duty as a servant and a wife to do so. That must have been hard for her to hear.

 We live in a society that talks more about pleasure and fulfillment than of duty and responsibility,  especially when it comes to marriage and the family.  Someone doesn't feel good in or about the marriage, so they look or go elsewhere...either they leave or use work to distract them from their responsibilities and duties.

 The Angel of the Lord is teaching Hagar, and all of us, especially those who are married,  that duty comes before how we feel or whether we are fulfilled or not  as a person.  But the Angel of the Lord didn't stop there.
Read: Genesis 16:10-12

 Duty, obedience is not without it's reward. Hagar was promised that she would bear a son, whom she would call Ishmael. He would be a mighty man who will bow to no one. And his descendants will be numerous, but, they will always be fighting  with someone.

 It is interesting to note that this prophesy of the Angel of the Lord can be seen played out today, Ishmael is the father of all Arabs. They are constantly at war with someone, somewhere, especially with Israel. And it all began when Abram listened to Sarai, abdicated his spiritual leadership in the family and birthed Ishmael with Hagar.

 What does Hagar do? How does she respond to the Angel of the Lord?

Read: Genesis 16:13-14

 Hagan, up to this point an unbeliever, by an act of faith, calls God, ' Jehovah Roi' which means 'The Lord sees'. Because she believed God saw her in her time of despair and showed love and compassion to her.
 
 In vs 11 God names Hagar's son, Ishmael, which means 'God hears'.

 In these two naming events, we see wonderful theology... God hears and God sees.... everyone and everything, no matter where you are, no matter where you may be going, no matter what has been done to you and what you have done...God sees and He hears when you call out to Him.

 Are you aware that God sees you? Right where you are?
    Ladies, God sees your impatience.
     Men, God sees your spiritual anorexia.
 But be assured, God also sees what you need. And we learn from Ishmael's name, that He hears.

 Have you talked to God recently? Have you spoken to God about your fears, your loneliness, your anxiety, your anger..your doubts. Talk to Him, listen to what He was to say. And remember, God hears and God cares.

Read: Genesis 16:15-16

 Hagar returns to Abram and Sarai and submits to their authority. But that is not the last we will hear of Hagar and Ishmael.

Conclusion

 What we read about this morning in the life and home of Abram and Sarai, are many of the same challenges we face today in our Christian homes.

Three final points of application.

1. Men, don't relinquish your responsibility to lead your family according to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and the clear directives in the Word of God. Eat, feast upon, God's Word, God's Worship and fellowship with Godly people.  Don't be spiritual anexorics.

2. Women, don't be impatient when you are waiting for God to act. Don't take matters in your  hands when God has not clearly led you to do so.  You may be asking how do we know when to act and when to wait?

 -Wait when it appears God has been preventing what you have been requesting.
 -Wait when what you want to do feeds your fleshly appetites.
 -Wait when you know your methods are inappropriate to your goals or to your God.
 -Work when God has clearly given you the responsibility and authority to do so.
 -Work when your motivation is faith.
 -Work when God's Word confirms your action.

3. For those of you who may feel like Hagar: unjustly treated, utterly abandoned and at the end of your rope. God sees where you are and cares for you just as you are. Call out to Him and He will hear you.

 Men, I have faith in you. I have faith that God will work in your hearts and lives to prove Dr. Joshua Bierer wrong.  By the grace of God and the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit,

 You can be spiritual leaders in our families and church.

 You can be well nourished on the Word of God.

 And I believe, men, You can be living examples of faith.