Essentials Of The Faith / Sunday Morning Sermon Series / The Sermon On The Mount

Raising The Bar With Reconciliation 07/29/07

Message: ‘Raising the bar with reconciliation’

Text: Matthew 5:21-26

 

Introduction:

 

ILL: After spending 3 ½ hours enduring the long lines, disinterested clerks and insane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles, a man stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for his son. He brought his selection, a baseball bat, to the cash register. ‘Cash or charge?’ the clerk asked. ‘Cash’ he snapped. Then apologizing for his rudeness he explained ‘I’ve spent the afternoon at the motor vehicles bureau.’ ‘Shall I gift wrap the bat?’ asked the clerk, ‘Or are you going back to motor vehicles?’ (Glenn Vaughn)

 

ILL: David Slagle, Lawrenceville, Ga tells the following story about an experience he had. ‘I served as a nurse in the operating room for several years. One day a couple arrived, both with gunshot wounds. He had awakened late for his first day on the job because his wife did not set the alarm. He expressed his displeasure by shooting her in the arm. Not to be outdone, she retreated to another room, got a shotgun, and shot him in the arm. As I gathered their paperwork in the preoperative unit, I heard something one would only expect to hear in a country song. Separated by a deputy sheriff and handcuffed to their respective stretchers, the husband began: ‘I love you, baby, and I’m sorry I shot you.’ The wife responded, ‘I love you too, baby, and I’m sorry I shot you.” (Rodney J. Buchanan)

 

ILL: In Dadeville, Al., a man shot and killed another man because he was a better Bible quoter. They were arguing over a subject and one man became so jealous and angry because he couldn’t keep up scripturally with the other man, so he shot and killed him. (Jeremy Houck)

 

There seems to be an epidemic of anger these days. And we can do… some crazy things when we get angry. Have you ever done anything while you were angry, that you wish you could take back?

 

Anger is one of the most destructive forces in our lives because when people get angry, things tend to get broken.

·       I once broke a golf club because it kept messing up my shots.

·       Someone throws a punch and a wrist gets broken.

·       In anger one nation lashes out against another a a treaty is broken.

·       Angry words can break hearts and relationships

 

Transition: Jesus addresses the issue of relationships broken by anger in our text this morning. Turn in your Bibles to Matthew 5:21 (pg. 740 in the Bible under the chair in front of you) Here we’ll see that we raise the bar of spirit expectations and actions in our lives with reconciliation.

 

I. Matt. 5:21-22    Unjustified anger is a sin that divides. 

Read: Matthew 5:21-22

 

The Pharisees went to ridiculous extremes when it came to obeying the 4th commandment (keeping the Sabbath) but didn’t go far enough when it came to obeying the 6th commandment (not to kill). That’s why Jesus said ‘You have heard that it was said…but I tell you’

·       Remember, Jesus has just explained that he has authority to rightly interpret and teach the Law because he has fulfilled it.

·       Remember he just declared that if you want to go to heaven your righteousness (your standard) must surpass that of the Pharisees.

 

The Pharisees taught that as long as you didn’t murder someone, you were keeping the 6th commandment. But Jesus didn’t agree because as citizens of the Kingdom of God we have a higher standard. And God’s standard always focuses on the heart. That’s why Jesus said:

 

‘Anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.’

 

I think we all understand the difference between justified and unjustified anger…

·       Anger that’s justified is in response to sin against God.

·       Anger that’s justified is in response to injustice or abuse done to those who are helpless and undeserving.  

·       Anger is unjustified when it’s to show authority, to gratify ungodly passions,

    to take revenge, or when we feel our ‘rights’

    are being compromised.

Anger, without just cause is nothing more than an adult temper tantrum designed to control or manipulate others.

 

Jesus is saying that to hate, to be angry with, to have feelings of bitterness toward someone, without cause, breaks the 6th commandment not to kill.

 

Then he gets specific when he talks about calling people names from a heart of anger.

 

·       Racca: imbecile, bonehead, dumbbell, moron, idiot. This was an insult based on ones intelligence.

 

·       Fool: senseless, rebellious, wicked. This was an insult based on one’s character.

 

We don’t do that?

 

ILL: A mother was taking her little boy to school, since the dad had to go to work early. The little boy kept looking around on the way to school. Halfway there, the little boy said, “Mom, where are the idiots?”  “What do you mean?”  “Well,” said the little boy, “usually Dad and I see at least three or four idiots on the way to school.” (Darrell Stetler )
 When we do this (I’m guilty too) we’re teaching our children, and anyone else who may be in the car with us, to break the 6th commandment. Jesus is serious. And so is the Apostle Paul when he writes:

 

Read: Eph. 4:29 ‘Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.’


The old saying ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me’ is not true.  Names calling often does hurt the one being called the names. And it’s a sin for the name caller because it divides rather than unites.

 

Bottom Line? When we’re angry and say hurtful things to or about others, we’re sinning!

·       So, parent’s be very careful of the words you choose to use around your children when you’re angry.

·       Husbands and wives, be very careful of the words you choose to say to one another when you’re angry.

·       Christians, be very careful of the words you choose to use when you speak to or about one another.

 

Angry words can destroy relationships.

 

The kingdom heart, is a heart of love, a heart that values relationships and works to build them up instead of tear them.

 

Transition: Having established the principle that anger, like murder, is sin Jesus gives two very practical examples of how to deal with the hurt of anger.

 

II. Matt. 5:23-24   Reconciliation is an act of worship

Read: Matthew 5:23-24

 

First, there is a slight shift here, Jesus has moved from our ‘anger’ to our ‘offense’. Showing that anger and it’s accompanying expressions are sin.

 

Second, notice Jesus doesn’t address when someone has offended us. He’s more concerned when we offend others. Why? Because we’re less concerned when we offend others and more concerned when others offend us. Jesus is saying we need to care more about the feelings and needs of others, than our own.

 

Third, Jesus is connecting anger to worship. He’s saying our anger towards others and how it effects them…has a bearing on our ability to rightly worship God.

 

Let me paraphrase this text.

 

Hating your brother, being angry with your sister, calling them names are not characteristics of those who will walk with me in my kingdom. Therefore, if your heart is clouded by the sin of anger, hatred, or bitterness, you can’t come merrily to church on Sunday and think God will be ok with your offering of worship.

 

Have you ever asked yourself

·       Why do my prayers seem to go unanswered?

·       Why does God seem so far and distant?

 

Perhaps it’s because you need to be reconciled to someone, to offer forgiveness or to ask for forgiveness?

 

Fourth, if there is someone hurt by your anger, hatred or bitterness, don’t wait for them to come to you, take the initiative…seek their forgiveness.

 

Let me challenge you, before you come back next Sunday, ask yourself…

·       Have I wronged someone by my anger, hatred, or bitterness?

·       Have I done all that I could to be reconciled with them?

·       If not, am I willing to humble myself and ask them for forgiveness?

 

God will be pleased if you do that this week. Why? Because God is much more concerned with your heart and your relationship with others than with your ability to worship him.

 

And if God gives you the grace to do the harder thing (be reconciled with someone) won’t he then receive more glory when you come to worship him next Sunday with a clear conscience and a pure heart? Think about it.

 

Transition: In verses 25-26 Jesus gives us a second example of our need for reconciliation and this one is very practical.

III. Matt. 5:25-26    Reconciliation avoids revenge

Read: Matthew 5:25-26

 

This is simple…Jesus is telling us to ‘settle out of court.’ Holding a grudge, continuing in your hatred, anger or pride will only cost make things worse.

 

Reconcile with those who hold something against you, whether it’s a legal or moral issue, and reconcile quickly. Here’s an example.

 

ILL: B.R. Holt, Caldwell, ID relates the following story.  Fighting rush-hour traffic from suburban Maryland to Washington D.C., can cause its share of near misses and irritating moments. One morning, a young lady darted her compact car from a side street into the stream of traffic immediately in front of a driver just a few car lengths ahead of me, forcing him to brake sharply. He avoided hitting her by inches and was obviously furious. Within seconds, traffic stopped at a red light, and I watched him pull up behind the offender, leap from his car, and stride angrily toward hers. Clearly, he intended to give her a royal bawling out.

Seeing him coming, the very attractive young lady jumped from her car and ran to meet him--a big smile on her face! Before he could say one word or know what was happening, she had thrown her arms around him, hugged him tightly, and planted a passionate kiss on his lips! Then she was back in her car and drove away, leaving her antagonist standing in the middle of the street still speechless and looking somewhat confused and embarrassed--but no longer angry! (Jeffrey Anselmi)

 

Her approach was a bit unconventional, but she had the right idea. Paul had a similar idea when he wrote…

 

Read: Ephesians 4:26-27 ‘In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.’

 

Reconcile quickly.

 

Conclusion

If you’re a follower of Jesus, a Christian, Jesus is making one thing very clear…he's holding you to a higher standard.  

 

Read: James 1:20 ‘for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.’

 

Don’t go the route of anger.

·       Don’t embrace it,

·       don’t harbor it,

·       don’t nurse it,

·       don’t play with it in your mind. 

 

Anger, hatred, bitterness and their accompanying actions are so serious they can cut you off from blessed fellowship with God and can hinder your prayers.

 

So…

Do you need to apologize this morning to your spouse for something you’ve done or said that hurt them?

 

Do you need to get out of your chair and be reconciled with a brother or sister here this morning?

 

God made the sacrifice to reconcile you to himself in spite of all that you have done? Aren’t you glad he did?

 

Surrender your pride, your anger, your hatred and bitterness and raise the bar of spiritual expectations and actions in your life by seeking reconciliation.