Essentials Of The Faith / Sunday Morning Sermon Series / The Sermon On The Mount
Raising The Bar With Reconciliation 08/05/07
Message: ‘Raising the bar with love’
Text: Matthew 5:27-30
Introduction:
ILL: A little boy ran into the living room where his father was reading. ‘Dad, where did I come from?’ the boy’s mother cleared her throat and excused herself to let the father answer this long-feared question. Dad cleared his throat and went into a long, careful explanation of how children are born. When he was finally through though, his con commented ‘That’s OK dad, but my pal Joe down the street says he comes from Sacramento and I just wanted to know where I came from.’ (Wayne Field)
Those of you who have children know the fear associated with ‘the talk.’ Truth be told, we’re rather uncomfortable talking about sex…
especially in church on Sunday morning. But I’m going to make you perhaps even more uncomfortable, because out topic this morning is and ugly word…adultery.
We dislike the word so much that we call it an ‘affair of the heart’, a ‘fling’, ‘forbidden love’, an ‘extramarital relationship’. Whatever you choose to call it, know that God calls it sin. And it’s a very common sin . In the book ‘The Day America Told the Truth’ we’re told that almost 1/3rd of all married Americans have or are committing adultery. 1/3rd This is serious.
Background: Jesus has just spoken to his disciples about the 6th commandment ‘You shall not murder’ and he said that when you’re angry in your heart, you’ve broken it.
Jesus did this to show that those who follow him must have a higher standard than that of the Pharisees. In our text today, Jesus does the same thing with the 7th commandment.
Transition: Open your Bibles to Matthew 5:27 (pg. 740 in the Bibles under the chair in front of you) It’s here that we will see that we raise the bar of spiritual expectations and actions in our lives with love.
I. Matthew 5:27 The Deed Restated
Read: Matthew 5:27
I want you to note that adultery is a very specific and serious sin.
· It’s specific in that it’s a sin committed by a married person who has sex with someone who is not their spouse.
· It’s a serious sin in that it breaks the 7th commandment, if that weren’t serious enough, adultery also breaks the marriage covenant; a promise made before God and to God by two people (a man and woman) who get married.
Transition: Christians, followers of Jesus Christ are not to commit adultery. But we will see that Jesus expects even more from us because has he already said in vs 13-16 we are salt and light and we influence others by how we choose to live.
II. Matthew 5:28 The Deception Revealed
Question: Does it really matter what we think about as long as we don’t act upon it?
Read: Matthew 5:28
ILL: Author Philip Yancy in his book ‘The Jesus I Never Knew’ relates how a professor assigned the Sermon on the Mount to her English composition class at Texas A&M. She asked her students to write a short essay on this passage of Scripture. Here is what one student wrote ‘The things asked in this sermon are absurd. To look at a woman is adultery? That is the most extreme, stupid, unhuman statement that I have ever heard’ (Matthew Rogers)
It’s shocking to many people, even to some Christians, that God’s standard for purity, places so many limits on acceptable sexual behavior….and thoughts.
God’s standard for keeping the 7th Commandment involves the heart/mind; it includes what we think, and what we feel. Jesus calls what we thing and feel about sex when it is not about our spouses….lust.
Lust
· Is not a man glancing at a woman’s body, but fantasizing about having sex with her as he looks.
· His eyes see, his mind focuses, his body responds and he lusts.
· He has allowed his mind to wander and his heart to sin.
· His lust bypasses love and moves directly to passion.
· He eliminates relationship and turns the other person into an object to be obtained, a body to conquer.
· He replaces his wife in his bed, with the woman in his head.
Jesus is saying that this man doesn’t need to commit the physical act of adultery because he has already sinned in his heart. His heart is tainted, soiled. He no longer has a pure heart. (remember Jesus had just taught that the ‘pure in heart’ will see God) Remember ‘pure in heart’ ‘salt and light’ all of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount is connected.
So it really does matter what we think even if we don’t act upon it. Jesus tells us of that in:
Read: Matthew 15:18 ‘But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean.’
Lust is adultery. By choosing to look
· you’re entertaining sin
· you’re inviting it in and allowing it to take root
· you investigate further and pretty soon a not so innocent glance turns into a stare
· and then you’ve done exactly what you didn’t want to do.
Transition: So what can be done? Is there hope? Can we win this war fought in our minds and heart? Yes…but it won’t be easy.
ILL: Bruce Larson tells of an old priest who was asked by a young man ‘Father, when will I cease to be bothered by the sins of the flesh?’ The priest replied ‘Son, I wouldn’t trust myself until I’d be dead for 3 ro 4 days.’ (Jeffrey Anselmi)
III. Matthew 5:29-30 The Deliverance ‘Do’s and Don’ts’
In a day where sex is used to sell everything from mouthwash to refrigerators, it’s hard not to fall into this particular sin. Movies and television deliberately appeal to the lustful eye and heart. And book have been written to make better adulterers. No kidding.
ILL: ‘Adultery Handbook: A Guide to Successfully Having Affairs’ written by Susan Desiato. This is what’s inside the cover
· This guide shows you how to conduct clandestine affairs in reasonable and respectful ways so that existing relationships emerge intact. It discusses how to conduct an affair so that the discovery potential is radically lowered.
Can you believe it?
Truth is, it’s not the lusting looks that cause sin in the heart…it’s the sin in the heart that causes the lusting looks. The lusting looks are an expression of a tainted, impure heart. But it’s also a heart, Christian, that Jesus can cleanse and make pure when you ask for forgiveness. And you can help to keep pure by how you choose to live.
I’ve put together a non-exhaustive list on the ‘Do’s and Don’ts’ of deliverance from the sin of lust and adultery. Let’s start with Jesus’ list.
Read: Matthew 5:29-30
Does Jesus have your attention? Can you see the seriousness he has placed on the sin of lust? Now, Jesus isn’t being literal here. We can pluck out both eyes and still lust. We can cut off both hands and still lust.
Jesus is saying that whatever causes you to lust, cut it off at the source. Get rid of it. Throw it away. The examples Jesus gives are pretty extreme but you may have to do some pretty extreme things to gain victory and a pure heart.
What extreme things?
The Don’ts of deliverance
1. Don’t go near places that tempt you to lust.
ILL: On the TV show Hee Haw Doc Campbell is confronted by a patient who says he broke his arm in two places. The doc replies ‘Well then, stay out of them places!’ He may have something there. (Gerald Flury)
-The beach, bars, Victoria’s Secret, places where women hang out in the summer, the girly magazine section in the stores,
the adult section at your video store, your
secretaries office area
ILL: Bob Russel tells of a pastor’s wife who has an understanding with her husband about church sectaries…they follow the 50/50 rule. The pastor’s secretary must be at least 50 yrs old and 50 lbs overweight. (Michael Luke)
2. Don’t hug/kiss people you’re attracted to and have fantasized about…don’t hug\kiss them here in church, under the mistletoe, on birthdays or other special occasions….just don’t.
3. Don’t be on your computer, after 10pm if there’s no one in the room with you.
-A recent poll has found that 75% of all
people on the internet after 10pm are visiting porn sites.
4. Don’t dress in such a way as to invite lustful looks. This applies to both men and women, but especially to women.
-Watch what you wear…very short skirts,
tight pants or low cut shirts, see through
tops, and pants/shorts with writing across
the butt…no matter how ‘stylish’
you may think you are, you know you are
attracting men to look at your butt…it’s
wrong.
5. Don’t start anything.
-Adultery almost always starts off
innocently…a mutual attraction to a neighbor, co-worker or even someone in the church. You both understand each other so well, you have so much in common, and you enjoy being together. They listen more to you than your spouse does…soon it’s secret messages, gently touches, lingering glances, then a short embrace and sin has been born.
6. Don’t start up the ladder of affection with anyone except your spouse. This means don’t flirt with anyone who is not your spouse. There’s no such thing as innocent flirting.
The Do’s of deliverance
1. Do center your life on Jesus Christ.
-The best defense is a good offense. Aggressively follow Jesus, and it will strengthen your defenses against lust
and adultery.
2. Do make a covenant with God about your eyes.
Read: Job 31:1 ‘I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.’
-Make the promise and ask someone to hold
you accountable for it.
3. Do love your spouse. When you were married God made you one flesh…you complete and complement each other. God intends for you to have a personal, intimate, pleasurable, sexual union in which you both find fulfillment and satisfaction.
4. Do give what’s due your spouse.
Read: Proverbs 5:15 ‘Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.’
Read: 1 Corinthians 7:3-4a ‘The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other…’
Read: Proverbs 5:18-19 ‘May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.’
-Enjoy your spouse…those of you who are
married should be giving your spouse their
due…often.
5. Do respect the marriage bed.
-Sex is risky business. It’s one of the most intimate encounters two people can ever experience. Because it’s intimate, it places you in a very vulnerable situation. That’s why God limits it to the committed, covenant relationship of marriage. There in marriage, trust can grow and with it intimacy.
6. Do communicate with your spouse.
-Good and frequent communication between
spouses fosters intimacy.
-Unless intimacy is developed and nurtured
outside the bedroom, it will never develop
inside the bedroom.
-Men, look…talk to your wives…a lot,
they want it and need it.
7. Do get control of your thought life.
-Pray, Read, Study and Memorize God’s
Word…more. Have it fixed in your mind.
Please understand, I’m not trying to be legalistic here, just reasonable…and not all these things on my list will affect everyone the same way…so make wise and godly choices…no matter how difficult they may be.
Read: Romans 13:14 ‘clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.’ Another translation says ‘Make no provision for the flesh’
Remember I said that to truly follow what Jesus teaches in his Sermon on the Mount it would require radical obedience and life altering change.
Conclusion
Men, this message was primarily focused on you. While women do lust, it’s men who are more apt to sin in that way. So listen to this true story.
ILL: Phyllis George interviewed Dallas Cowboys quarterback Roger Staubach. It was a dull interview until Phyllis asked ‘Roger, how do you feel when you compare yourself with Joe Namath, who is so sexually active and has a different woman on his arm every time we see him? ‘Phyllis’ Roger answered ‘I’m sure I’m just as sexually active as Joe. The difference is that all of mine is with one woman, my wife.’ (Steve Farrar)
Real men, godly women, radical followers of Jesus Christ, don’t commit adultery!
How do we raise the bar of spiritual expectations and actions in our lives….Love your spouse…love your spouse…love your spouse.
To remind you of that and God’s plan you’re your married life, I have made something that I want you to have.
(Hand out ‘Beloved’ cards)