Essentials Of The Faith / Sunday Morning Sermon Series / The Sermon On The Mount
Raising The Bar With Faithfulness 08/12/07
Message: ‘Raising the bar with faithfulness’
Text: Matthew 5:31-32
Introduction:
ILL: Someone once said: ‘Marriage is that relationship between a man and a women in which
· INDEPENDENCE is equal
· DEPENDANCE is mutual
· OBLIGATION is reciprocal (Robert Shannon)
If only we could have that permanently inscribed into our heads and hearts… before we say ‘I do.’
I mean, we all should have had an idea what we were getting ourselves into when we decided to get married. We all should have known that marriage is a forever thing…I mean, we all said it would be.
ILL: Typical marriage vows.
I, Robert, take you Kathy to be my wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.
Remember? That’s what everyone says, give or take a few words, when they get married. Am I right? Then why do half of all marriages…non Christian and Christian alike, end in divorce?
ILL: A contemporary marriage vow from California
I, Robert, take you Kathy to be my wife… for as long as it’s cool.
I used to be amused that someone would actually say that at their wedding, but perhaps they were being more honest than at lease 50% of us.
Truth is each of you has been touched by divorce: either your own on someone close to you…it’s happened and is happening even now at CBC.
We say ‘until death do us part’ but what we end up meaning is ‘until I am no longer happy’.
Last week 30,000 people got divorced in this country alone. That’s serious!
· It’s time for us start keeping our word,
· it’s time for us to raise the bar of spiritual expectations and actions in our lives by being faithful.
Please understand that my intention today is not to condemn or add to the hurt you may have already experienced or may be experiencing now. I want to speak words of love and grace, but that doesn’t include the word ‘convenience’ if you’re thinking about a divorce.
Nor is it my intention to give a full discourse on divorce and remarriage. That would take more time than I have this morning.
Transition: Jesus briefly addresses the issue of divorce in his Sermon on the Mount. And I will attempt to do the same. To find out what Jesus has to say about this highly volatile subject, open your Bibles to Matthew 5:31 (pg 740 in the Bibles under the chair in front of you)
I. Matthew 5:31 ‘It has been said…
easy divorce’
Read: Matthew 5:31
There were two schools of thought on divorce in Jesus day, both taught by highly influential religious leaders. Their teaching was based on their own interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1. Let’s look at it.
Read: Deuteronomy 24:1 ‘If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house,’
Key here to a divorce being granted is the interpretation of the phrase ‘indecent about her.’
Rabbi Hillel interpreted it to mean that it was ok for a husband to divorce his wife for any reason at all. Like…
· She burned her husbands breakfast
· She spoke to her husband in a disrespectful way
· She was not as beautiful as another women her husband wanted.
Rabbi Hillel’s interpretation was the most popular in Jesus’ day…well, at least with the men.
We may find these excuses for divorce amusing but the times haven’t changed that much.
· A man in Hazard, Kentucky divorced his wife because she ‘beat him whenever he removed onions from his hamburger without asking permission.’
· A deaf man in Bennetsville, SC filed for divorce because his wife ‘was always nagging him in sign language.’
· A woman in Hardwick, Ga. Divorced her husband because he ‘stayed home too much as was much too affectionate.’
He must have heard my sermon from last
week.
Then there was the other, more conservative side of religious thought.
Rabbai Shammai interpreted ‘indecent about her’ to mean some major problem with the wife. For example…
· She was caught in adultery
· She was not able to bear children
It seems that even in Jesus’ day, divorce was a hot issue, even in the church, well, synagogue. BUT, everyone could agree on one thing… if you wanted out of your marriage…men, you needed to give your wife a Certificate of Divorce.
Now this wasn’t originally a completely bad thing. The law prevented quick, rash divorces because not everyone could write and it took time to get the Certificate of Divorce. But in Jesus’ day, most people could write and the Certificate of Divorce was just a procedural formality…not unlike the ease of a No Fault Divorce today.
Transition: As Christians, we need to keep the Law, but we’re also called to live by a higher standard as God’s children. Jesus gives us that standard.
II. Matthew 5:32 ‘But I tell you…stay together’
Read: Matthew 5:32
It has been said…go ahead, give your wife the pink slip and you’ll be divorced. But I say…stay together. Yes, I know even Jesus gives an ‘exception’ but it’s the ‘exception’ not the ‘rule.’
Unfortunately the people living in Jesus’ day, as well as in our time, have made divorce the ‘rule’ rather than the ‘exception. Even though God’s plan for marriage has always been between a man and a woman and it is to last forever ‘until death do us part’. That’s the rule. That’s God’s standard.
OK, but what about the exception? I find it interesting that the ‘exception’ the ‘spiritual loophole’ is what we’re more interested in. Because we want a way out of our marriage just in case it doesn’t work out as we planned…or our spouse is not what we think they should be. Give me my ‘get out of jail free card.’
Well, here it is…
· Marital Unfaithfulness (NIV)
· Sexual Immorality (ESV)
· Fornication (KJV)
· Unchastity (NASB)
It’s adultery…sex with someone who is not your spouse. It’s what Jesus just spoke about…remember the texts in the Sermon on the Mount are all connected. If you spouse is unfaithful, has committed adultery, you may get a divorce and then get remarried.
Is that the only exception? No.
Read: 1 Cor. 7:15
· If a Christian has an unbelieving spouse who chooses to leave the relationship they are to let them go, they are no longer bound (to the law of marriage) and they are to be at peace (free to remarry)
Sidebar: Understand that Jesus is not encouraging Christians to marry unbelievers. He’s saying being married to an unbeliever is not a reason to get a divorce…just because you finally found a Christian who you like and you want to divorce your non-Christian spouse.
To sum it up there are three events that can break a marriage union.
1. The death of a spouse
2. The unfaithfulness (adultery) of a spouse
3. The desertion by a non-Christian spouse
And in all three cases, you are free to remarry.
And I would add one that is not found in Scripture but it certainly makes sense from the big picture of Scripture. If you were married and divorced before you became a Christian you are free to remarry.
Read: 2 Cor. 5:17 ‘Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!’
However, Jesus is also saying that if you choose to divorce for any reason other than adultery or desertion by an unbelieving spouse, you’re not free to remarry and if you do, you have broken the 7th commandment…you have committed adultery.
Read: 1 Cor. 7:10-11
Why does Jesus make such a big deal about divorce?
Read: Matthew 19:6 ‘So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.’
Why does Jesus make such a big deal about divorce?
· Because divorce seeks to undo
what God has done in marriage.
Read: Gen. 2:24-25
· To ‘leave’ means to make the choice to spend your lives together and make each other your highest human priority….not your parents, not your children… your spouse.
· To ‘be united’ or to ‘cleave’ means a permanent attachment. Two bodies, two minds, and hearts, yet one life before God, joined together by God.
· And there is never any need for embarrassment or shame when you follow God’s plan for marriage.
Divorce undoes all that. That’s why God says he hates divorce in Malachi 2:16.
God hates divorce! But God allows it. What that tells me is that even when something happens in which God would allow a divorce, we should try to do all we can to make it work and only seek divorce as a last result.
But Pastor Bob, God wants me to be happy and I can’t be happy with the person I’m married to.
· To be honest, that’s perhaps one of the most selfish things I have ever heard.
· Yes, God wants you to live a full and abundant life but not at the expense of breaking your marriage covenant, hurting others and undoing what God has done.
Conclusion
If you’re married I want you to turn to your spouse and say ‘Till death do us part.’
‘But I or we are not in love anymore.’
· Love doesn’t sustain a marriage…Marriage sustains love.
Marriage is the commitment to love one another even when it’s not easy to love. Geee, sounds a lot like how Jesus feels about us.
Think about this… You may have said this before or even think it now
· I would do anything for my children
· I would be willing to die for my children
· No one will be able to take my children away from me
And that would be great! But remember Gen. 2:24? To leave and cleave means giving your spouse the highest human priority in your life. If you are willing to do all that for your children, shouldn’t you be willing to do it for your spouse? Jesus thinks so!
· I would do anything for my spouse
· I would be willing to die for my spouse
· No one will be able to take my spouse away from me
If your marriage is in trouble…seek God, ask for forgiveness, ask for healing. Seek godly counseling and remember to be faithful to your wedding vows.
ILL: Doctor George Crane, M.D., Ph. D., the clinical columnist in newspapers throughout North America, has calculated that when a married couple are active together in the same church they have about a 50 times greater chance of avoiding divorce; and that only one in 500 marriages breaks up where there is a family altar. . . Nine out of ten of both sexes attach maximum priority in life to a happy marriage. (John W. White)
I like these odds…and it says a lot about the impact being here has on a family.
Raise the bar of spiritual expectations and actions in your life by faithfulness.