Essentials Of The Faith / Sunday Morning Sermon Series / Statement Of Faith

In Order Part 2

Sermon Title: Scripture, our ultimate authority in all matters of    order . pt.1                  Sermon Text:: Ephesians 5:21-6:3

2. Order in the Family

Intro: Kevin A. Miller, in Marriage Partnership magazine wrote this.  'In the movie The Poseidon Adventure, the ocean liner S.S. Poseidon is on the open sea when it hits a huge storm. A wall of water crashes through the ballroom. Men in tuxes and women in evening gowns scream and run. Lights go out, smoke pours into rooms and, amid all the confusion, the ship flips over.

   Because of the air trapped inside the ocean liner, it floats upside down. But in the confusion, the passengers can't figure out what's going on. They scramble to get out, mostly by climbing the steps to the top deck. The problem is, the top deck is now 100 feet under water. In trying to get to the top of the ship, they drown.

   The only survivors are the few who do what doesn't make sense. They do the opposite of what everyone else is doing and descend into the belly of the ship until they reach the hull. By going down, they reach the ocean's surface. Rescuers hear them banging and cut them free.

   In marriage, it's as if God has turned the ship over and the only way for us to find fullness is to choose what doesn't make sense.'

    Last week I spoke about how as people, we thrive on order. We saw that there must be order in the church. Well, there is an even more basic location in which order is to be found and it is in the home.

EXP: Where do we find out about order in the family?  On TV shows like Opra or Springer? In books written by  angry, secular feminists? No! Scripture alone is the authority for all matters of order in the family. We need not ask the world how we are to live as a Christian family, it is already stated in God's Word.

Col. 3:17-20  'Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be
                       embittered against them. Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.'

1 Cor. 11:3 'I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman,
                   and God is the head of Christ.

Exodus 20:12 'Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God
                        gives you.'

 Strong statements about order in the family. Commands many in the church don't like and have difficulty obeying...Why? because they don't like them. Yet are they any less God's Truth?  But according to everything we hear from the world around us, it is wrong. Well, going up to the top decks of the Poseidon was where everyone else was heading and it lead to their death.

 If we are to be committed followers of Jesus Christ, looking to honor Him in all areas of our lives, then perhaps we must be willing to turn our homes upside down and look to what God's authoritative Word has to say about order in the home, and then follow it.

 So, what we need to do is to get past the hard words of the text, those words that once read or heard immediately turn us off. What words? Submit/Respect.....Head........Obey/Honor.

 If you are willing to get past the words,  I believe you will find that God's intended order for the family is a beautiful  model for the world to see, and for Christians to live.

Trans: Turn to Eph. 5:21 where we will see God's intended pattern for order in the family.

II. Order in the Family
A. Submission/Respect
Read: Eph. 5:21

    1. Mutual Submission
 Paul has seen the dangers of individualism in the church and last week in 1 Cor. 14:26-40 we saw how he corrected that problem at Cornith where individualism and selfishness  was the pattern for the public worship of God. Paul knew that the secret of maintaining a joyful fellowship in the church was the order and discipline that come from willing submission, one to another. This mutual submission is not just applicable to the church family. This verse really is an introduction for Paul's main thought that there is to be order in the home. Paul understood that where there is mutual submission in the family, all the duties in that family will be performed better and easier.

Trans: So, what are the principals for order in the home?

    2. Submission of the Wife to her Husband
Read: Eph. 5:22-24, 33b

 The feminists argue that this text and others like it are antiquated and not truly a biblical ideal because it is misunderstood in light of Gal. 3:28 which says that there is total equality in God's family...and thus in the human family as well. The underlying assumption by feminists is that submission equals or at least assumes inferiority of the woman to the man. And to many women, both inside and outside the church, this has been a major stumbling block to submission in the home.

Def: Submit: Hupotasso : to be ranked under or placed in rows.

 The NT speaks of several kinds of submission: citizens to civil authorities (Rom. 13:1) Employees to their employers (Titus 2:9) church members to thier leaders (1 Cor. 16:16) children to their parent (1 Tim. 3:4) the church to Christ (Eph. 5:24) and, yes, wives to their husbands. (Col. 3:18)

 Submission by the wife is to place or rank herself under her husband, to recognize his position of authority over her and yield herself to it. Submission has nothing to do with inferiority or worth or right, it has to do with duty.  For harmony and growth to be seen and experienced in the Christian family, there must be order.

 Why should wives be submissive to their husbands? Three reasons.

1. It is God's Will
 God commanded it. There is to be no if and or buts, no argument. God has said it. And it hold the weight of any of the 'thus says the  Lord' in the Bible.

 God is God and He has the right as our creator and redeemer to demand anything of us and expect us to obey. You just can't pick and choose those commands you like ladies...sorry! If you are not in an attitude of biblical submission to your husband, you are in sin.

 Do you submit out of a sense of slavery, or begrudgingly, or with resentment ...no! You yield or  you submit out of love for God and obedience to His Word and out of love for your husband.

 That is what respect means in verse 33. It means the love and esteem which produces a desire to please...to submit. Wives submit because it is the will of God.

2. It is God's Pattern for the family
 There is both partnership as seen in vs. 21 and order, or submission. Submission is about function, the orderly working of the family. Wives submit because it is God's intended order for the family. It is how the family will function most effectively.

3 It is a great mystery
 A mystery is that which is unseen or not clear. The relationship of Christ to the Church is a mystery and it is understood by faith. Paul is saying the same thing here ladies.

 We may not have all the answers and I am sure you have many questions, but by faith you must believe that God's way is the very best for your life and for your family. Wives submit to their husbands by faith  that God Word is true and right and good.

Trans: Like it or not ladies, you are accountable to God for how you fulfill your obligation of submission to your husband.  But the responsibility for order in the family doesn't rest entirely on you. Husbands too are accountable before God for how they follow what God has commanded them as well.

B. Headship/Love
Read: Eph. 5:25-33a

DEF: Head: Leader, source or authority.  This is an authority of position and not of  superiority in any way.

Read: Eph. 4:15-16

 Remember Paul is using marriage to illustrate the relationship of Christ to the church. When each part of the body (the church) is supplying what it ought, doing it's respective duties, the body grows in love. Likewise, when the family fulfills their individual duties of serving, loving and obeying, the family grows in love as well.

 Marriage is an illustration to the believer and to the unbelieving world of the deep spiritual relationship between Christ and His church. It is an illustration of love and dependence of authority and obedience.

 That is God's intended pattern. But how does that flesh out, what does that look like? It looks like love men.

   1. A husbands love expressed

   Paul could have used many word for the kind of love the husband is commanded to show to his wife.
 -Eros: romantic, passionate love
 -Phileo: brotherly, friendly love
 -Storge: family love, affection within the family

 But he chose Agape, which is totally unselfish, a love that seeks not it's own satisfaction , not even the return for affection given. It is a love that strives for the highest good in another.

CL Mitton said ' It not only means a practical concern for the welfare of another, but a continual readiness to subordinate ones own pleasure and advantage for the benefit of another. It implores patience, kindness, humility, courtesy, trust and support.'

 It is the love that Christ Himself displayed to His church.  How  are husbands to do this?

    a.  By serving their wives
Read: Rom. 5:8

 Christ sees the church in all her weakness and failures and still loves her and works to make her even more beautiful and complete, glorious, w/o spot or wrinkle. Christ cares for and nourishes His church by meeting  its physical, spiritual and emotional needs.Christ loved the Church not because she was lovable, but to make her so ...Get the idea men?

 Husbands serve their wives they attend to their needs, they provide for them, they encourage their walks with the Lord, they cherish them and give them emotional support so that they will grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord and become more complete in Him. Husbands love their wives by serving them.

    b. By sacrificing for their wives
 Christ sacrificed His life for His church.  His love was so deep, so pure, so passionate that He gave His life so that the church, God's elect might live. Christ bore the cross of love for us on Calvary so that the Church might have life eternal. Love and the cross are inseparable.Husbands are called to make these kinds of sacrifices for their  own wife.

Sidebar: Election and Limited atonement proof text

 It means they intentionally enter into a relationship with their wives that they know may lead to suffering and pain.  Married love, men, looks like the cross . The problem is that we are selfish men. We don't even want to sacrifice the use of the remote...let alone anything really important.

 When was the last time you made a sacrifice for your wife? One in which you didn't benefit in some way?   One which really cost you, not financially perhaps, but emotionally or with your time? One that brought pain and suffering to you?
 And when was the last time you did it willingly and gladly out of love for her? Husbands display love for their wives by making scarifies for them.

APP:  One of the most devastating problems in marriage is not that wives are not submitting to their husbands, it is that husbands are not truly loving their wives. Men, we just don't care enough about our wives. Marriage is demanding and not many of us are willing to invest enough of ourselves in the relationship to grow....together in Christ.

 Understand that God has given the husband authority over the home but this headship is always to be exercised in love. Love that is serving, and sacrificing. Only then, is the husband fulfilling his responsibility in the family as God has so ordered it.

Trans: Wives are to submit to their husbands and husbands are to love their wives. This is God's intended order for the family. But, wait, what about the children's responsibility for order in the family?

C. Obey/Honor
Read: Eph. 6:1-3

 First let me say that an irresponsible emphasis on permissiveness in order to be friends with our children has created a society where children aren't taught to rightfully obey their parents.

 Add to this abuse, neglect, children talking back, being abusive to their parent, children divorcing their parents, and married couples who think that leaving and cleaving means they no longer have to honor their parents and you have the deterioration of God's intended order in the family. God is not pleased!

   1. Obedience of Children to their Parents
 God demands the obedience and honor of children to their parents. That is not just an outward expression of doing what you are told but an inward reverence, respect for your parents. Because they are always right? No, because God has set the family up this way.

 But, you may be asking, are there limits to my obedience? Yes and no. We never disobey our heavenly Father to obey our earthly parents. And God declares strict judgment on those parents who cause a little one  to sin. And  there is no limit on the length of time you are to bring honor to your parents. Your life should always show your esteem or respect for them as your parents.

 Paul is saying to obey your parents for more than just out of fear of punishment or the reward of an allowance. Obey and honor them because you want to please God. Obeying your parents is so important that the 5th commandment tells us this very same thing. And death was the result if you disobeyed this commandment. Although God is merciful today, He still demands our obedience to His Word, in all things, whether we like them or not kids.

    2. The Reward/Promise of Obedience
 You see, Scripture says that it is right to honor and obey your parents. If it is right it is then pleasing to God and He will honor your obedience.Outward prosperity and long life are blessings promised to those who keep this command of God. Does this means that you will live to 100 and be a millionaire?

 No. But it does mean that God's blessing will always be with you as you are faithful and obedient to Him and whatever His best is for you, you will freely and abundantly experience it. Children, it is your responsibility to obey and honor your parents. God will hold you accountable for your obedience or lack of it.

    Conclusion
 This is too much you may be thinking. I can't do it! And you are right to think you can't do it. It is not in your nature to submit, love and obey. But it is possible by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit in your lives. That is why Paul says in vs. 18, be filled with the Holy Spirit. A Spirit controlled life is necessary for  following the order God has established for the family.

 The secret for harmony and peace in the family is not reading the right best seller or taking the popular seminar.  It is keeping in step with the Spirit in your life individually and in your lives as a family. I am looking forward to the CE's committees recommendation that all our families consider regular family devotionals. And they are looking to provide the materials for this.  That is part of keeping in step and being filled with the Spirit as a family. A family full of the Spirit who submits, loves and obeys will have the spiritual assurance that amidst any trouble God will be there to guide and bless them.

 This message, although longer than most, is not the definitive answer to the topic of order in the home. Dottie and Women's Walk are looking at this very intently. And they will resume their meetings in the Fall. So you ladies who have questions can go and find some answers.

 Men, if there is an interest, I will be happy to meet with you  to discuss how men are to love their wives in very practical ways.
 Children, Pioneer Clubs and GYM our youth group also discuss this issue. Check them out.

 Our Statement of Faith...and God's Word declares that  Scripture alone is our ultimate authority in all matters of faith, conduct and order. Next Sunday, we will see that Scripture alone is the ultimate authority in all matters of morality and we will put this whole section into perspective for personal life application.